I can't believe this guy isn't locked up in a maximum security facility.
It must be divine intervention, because Mark is on the brink of a complete meltdown in more ways than one. I guarantee you I will never play poker or golf or any other activity that requires me to be within 10 miles of this total head case ever again.
See, here is the kicker...
Felon knows I could fry his ass like a fucking pork chop on NWP. I assure you there is a ton of dirt I could unload about his life, family and a couple of other (ahem) 'incidents' that have gone down. This community would suck that shit up like a chocolate shake, trust me.
But I won't go that route. No need to be mean spirited or hit below the belt, because Felon actually cracks me up and isn't a 'bad person' really. He is just a lying, conniving, cheating, angle shooting, shady piece of dogshit who would snatch a purse from a crippled old lady if he thought he could get away with it.
I mean seriously, this dysfunctional man-child should be in a fucking strait jacket...not coaching a little league team. I can't imagine parents allowing a child to be supervised by this individual for 30 seconds let alone a 7 inning baseball game.
In addition, his social skills are a total embarrassment. Last Friday at the Limelight was a fucking circus, and he must have pounded back 10 or 12 double vodka tonics downing them one after the other in the span of 90 mins. You guys think I'm a boozer ? gtfo this guy puts me to shame. At one point he is yelling across the room how he got Mama pregnant and there are like 20 people turning their heads to see who the drunk idiot was who was running his yap. I was just shaking my head trying to get a seat change since he was sitting right on my left. He would slug back his double Vodka tonic (drinking the cheap generic shit obviously) and then shout 'SERVICE !!' LoL what a spectacle...it was hilarious but also pathetic on multiple levels.
I want to make it crystal clear that Felon is a textbook psychotic. *hot news flash * Not to suggest that he isn't hilarious, because the guy is a non stop cavalcade of one liners and bullshit, but at his core...this is
not someone you want to ever bring home for Sunday dinner or share any sensitive information with whatsoever. I wouldn't trust this guy with an unattended lit cigarette let alone my home address or social security number.
Now I was straight up about the fact that I tilted hard at the Limelight on Friday. I dropped 500 bucks and Felon drove me up the fucking wall. He was taunting me non-stop running his mouth and laughing at me when I lost 2 big pots. His table demeanor is a disgrace and thats putting it mildly. I took seat 8 and he immediately slid into seat 9 as a new table opened up. He was jumping up and down from the table like a 10 year kid jacked up on ritalin and was chain smoking these generic cigarettes that made his breath stink like a rest-stop urinal.
I was patient at first...putting up with his non stop trash talking, but after about 15 minutes I said flat out, 'dude would you shut the fuck up' and he would just laugh and then even blew his nasty cheap vodka smoke breath in my face and went back to texting some skank he is trying to bang right now.
The irony is that we barely even played a pot together. He did bluff me off an $8.00 pot and was so proud of himself, he flipped his rags up and jumped up like he just won the WSOP. I just shook my head and tried to block him out, but honestly his breath was so fucking bad it was impossible...I had to wait for a seat change, but by that time most of the damage had been done and I was on the way out. Fact of the matter is that I was a fool to think that an invitation to come down and play cards with him would be enjoyable.
I was sitting at home hanging out relaxing enjoying myself and this fool calls me up and says to come down to the Limelight so I figured sure why not...have a couple drinks and chill and have a few laughs....I didn't realize this would be seen as another opportunity for him to go out of his way to be a complete dick and behave like a drunk retard all night...baiting me and laughing at me when I lose a $400.00 dollar pot when my set got rivered by a 4 flush. He was never even in any of the pots I lost that night,...too busy getting blitzed on cheap vodka and texting some slut...but he never wasted an opportunity to berate me and mock me when I lost a big pot. He begged me for a ride home, but I was having no part of that.
In short, Felon is primed & ready to snap...and only needs a gentle nudge to push him over the edge and into the deep end for good. Take my word for it, he is halfway home already. Put this motherfucker front and center on your next dead pool right now.
It's money in the bank.
_____
Personal Note to Felon: Dude go ahead and post all you want about whatever you want. bring that shit. You and I both know I am locked and loaded with all your dirty little secrets. Consider yourself lucky I didn't throw you on the coals right here. Keep pushing me and suffer the consequences. I will humiliate your drunk ass 1000 times worse than I did at Teal Bend, and make this thread look like a fucking tupperware party
