Hi.  I'm Bryan Micon.  I've been playing online poker for over a decade.  Paradise poker account 11/99 username:  micon.  Today, with the re-launch of DonkDown 2.0 on the horizon, and with DonkDown 2.5: Headshot edition already in pre-production, I am going to hand out some totally 100% free consulting to a few online poker sites.  (note:  if any of the sites listed below wants a patch-man for the WSOP 2010 or to hire me as a consultant, I would do great work at either or both jobs)

1)  Pokerstars - easily the best online poker site.  Biggest, best customer service, seems to be the smartest.  One thing wrong:  Tournament chops.  PartyPoker showed the industry how it is supposed to be done in ~2005 when they came out with an automated chop system - all players must have a box ticked that says "Discuss Deal" - then the smart tourney chop screen comes up with all options to chop a tourney.  As of this writing to chop a tourney on 'Stars you must email support, and frequently players engage in "everyone sit out until the mod gets here" - which is so 2002.  'Stars - you have the most resources and the best programmers.  Bang this feature out for the players.

2) Merge Network - holy shit what are you thinking with the tourney lobby system?  open any other poker site, realize that each tourney must have their own lobby window, and fix the shits.  It is damn near 10 clicks to get to your tourney lobby from a Merge tourney table.  Anyone who has played knows what I'm talking about.  Luckily that only affects 8 readers

3) Cake Network - Creeping zombie jesus if I have to see another advertisement in the bottom right hand corner of my screen for another $2 + .20 PLO8 with rebuys $324 guaranteed tourney starting in 5 minutes I might start stabbing myself Artie Lange style.  (too soon?)  Also you never know where Cake network info boxes may pop up if you use more than 1 monitor.  Those sneaky little fuckers pop up all the time and you can't make an action on any table until you click "ok."  Another free Cake tip for players:  options --> display --> uncheck "Auto Focus Window."  It won't cure the "every-tourney-lobby-brought-to-the-front-whenever-you-click-fold" problem, that we'll have to wait for Cake to drop and option (holy shit please do this Cake - no other site brings any window to the front when you click an action)

/End Rant.  Time to pwn the Sunday Internets.