I rattled my cage once again and maybe I have finally knocked some sense into a brain that doesn't seem to compute what i tell it. I know what I should do, I know what I shouldn't do, just sometimes I don't listen to myself. Sometimes I make terrible decisions while all the while believing that what I am doing at the very time is ok. It really amazes me when I think about these things sometimes.

I had been killing the gym every day and have been owning poker and sports for the better part of the month. Everything is going great and then boom it is like the Mike Matusow Blowup but in my life. It doesn't happen often to me anymore but when it does it stings and it stings hard. I suffer a knockout blow in one way or another and then before you know it I am back on my feet and pwning again but I always seem to relapse into that state again and rinse repeat all over again.

Anyhow the latest blowup came this past Tuesday. I cruise about an hr away to a Phish show and crush about 4 beers on the ride. Then I get to a bar and have a few shots and slam back about 6 more beers before we get into the show. We get inside and me and my buddy are just slamming beer after beer. I am not going to get into too many details of what happened in Worcestor but pretty much you get the gist of it. We got pretty wasted.

Then we drive back and instead of having my buddy drive an extra 8-10 miles to drop me off I have him drop me off at a bar. I have a few more double drinks and then wind up partying for the better part of the night. before you know it the sun is up and I need to be home. I know I shouldn't be out partying but I am. I have my buddy drive me home and then it is game time obv.

Everyone tells me to self ban my accounts and I say I will but honestly what good does that do? I have accounts on about 10 sites I can play poker on. Whether I self ban on Stars or FTP I can go and play anywhere and if I REALLY wanted to gamble on Stars or FTP I could find a way to do it if I really wanted to even after self banning. The bottom line is when I drink heavily I have a very addictive personality and if I want to do something I will do it. That is just the way it is and theat's just the way it has always been. That o\is pretty much the reason I have cut alcohol out of my life for the most part.

Anyhow I get home and I hop on stars and take on some guy Timeforshow at 30-60. He was a pretty good player from what I could tell and didn't make any terrible mistakes that I could see and it just wasn't a good match but when I am lit up I just want to play and I want to play against anyone. Most of the regs won't play me so I jump table to table till I find a taker. Little do the regs know just how lit up I am. What could be an even match or even a slight advantage either way most certainly puts me at a 10 bb 100 disadvantage when I am in that state. But I don't think of it that way I just want to play. At the moment I feel like I am testing myself. I feel like I can play ok but the truth is I play like shit in that state.

So of course the 6 max regs don't respect our HU game and I just play 6 handed for a while making some of the dumbest plays you could imagine cause I just don't give a shit. I proceed to chunk off about 2k on stars and then I head over to FTP. Now to be honest I don't think my heads up game was terrible at this point in time cause there is very very little decision making (for the most part). Hands pretty much play themselves and there are a few adjustments but nothing major especially in the early stages of matches. I take on some guy at 50-100 and I take him for about $1900. I then went up and down the line of every 50-100 player and nobody wanted to play but then of course St1ckman will take my action any day.

I started out ahead and got a small lead and then he chopped back into the lead. We had to have played about 250 hands and then I finally busted the 1900 I bought in with. I reloaded for about 1700 more and at some point late in the match I got really bored cause this guy was just making every correct decision, every correct bet, every correct adjustment. He was just doing everything a good player should do and instead of me saying "hey this guy is one of the best players you should quit" I said fuck it. Just 3 bet just about anything and see if you can get on a run and see if this guy spazzes. Well It did work and I went on about a 28 bet run and was cooking but instead of slowing down and adjusting myself I kept playing that style and he adjusted pretty much the same way I would adjust vs a donk that 3 bets every hand. Then before you know it he just chopped and chopped and chopped away and I was broke before you knew it.

There were 2 things I took out of the st1ckman match and 1 was pain. The other was the way he played a few hands vs me. Most say st1ckman is the master manipulator of getting you to bet when he wants you to bet for whatever reason it was. There must have been a few times he pulled off some tricky moves you wouldn't see most players make, even good players. There were also a few spots where he exploited me very nicely.

I am not ashamed of playing this guy and dropping 4k or losing. Sure it hurts to lose the 4k but I am more ashamed of playing while wasted. I roughly calculated my wins/losses while playing drunk this year and they are not too pretty but at the same time they aren't as bad as you would think. I think roughly after all is said and done this year I dropped roughly 11 or 12 k playing wasted. Subtract taxes off of that and other various deductions and it amounts to much less but it still doesn't make things right.

I am just sick of drinking period. I am sick of how I feel for days later. I am sick of the things I do while I drink. I know I go over the top with a lot of things hence why I really really cut down my alcohol consumption over the years. I would estimate that in 2008 I probably drank in the neighborhood of 100 times and I was broke a lot of that year because of it. In 2009 I decided to really change my life. I cut back to about 4 or 5 time which is great but I still managed to chunk 3 or 4k but my life improved. Now in 2010 I would guess I am up to about 8 or 9 times drinking.

Now when I say drinking I don't mean go out and split a 6 pack with a buddy. When I go I go hard and I will drink 15 drinks on a slow night and 30 on a good night. It is so sick when you think about it.

So over the past few days while nursing a probable ear infection and getting my mind back together after a night of booze consumption I decided I needed to make some changes for 2011. The first change I made was cancelling a trip to Vegas I had planned for this week. I haven't called the airliner yet but I will in a few minutes. If I have to eat all of the air fare then fine I don't give a shit. Changes have to be made and they have to be made now. I have also decided I am going to make a change and go alcohol free for the entire year. If I can do it then I do it. But it is something I need to try and do. last year I went 6 months without having a drop of alcohol so I don't see why I can't do it for double that.

I need to do this for many reasons. #1 is for mental health. #2 is for physical health and #3 is for my bankroll and my future. Those are the 3 things that are affected most when I binge drink and I think it is time to make some changes. I can afford whatever money I have chunked off but that doesn't make it right. I just don't want to get into a pattern where I am spiraling out of control like I was in 2008 and pre 2008 so I decided to just put the brakes on and cancel my Vegas trip and just focus on everything positive. So from here on in all I will be focusing on is health, nutrition, blogging, crushing donks and raising money for WSOP 2011.

China

http://www.venompoker.com/forumdisplay. ... -Sanctuary

So I was about 380 a little over a year ago and I really wanted to and needed to lose some weight bad. There are many reasons why I wanted to and needed to lose weight and many of them were potential health issues or risks. There is also a history of heart problems/strokes with my father who is pretty much a clone of me. I was also smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and at times would just get irregular heart beats just by getting in and out of bed every day. There are many other reasons for wanting to lose weight when you are nearing 400 lbs and I won't get into them all now but will break down more of this stuff after I lose about another 50-60 lbs.

I am telling you now if you are a lazy fuck like I was you need to get your ass in gear before it is too late. Where my downfall started was when I started drinking/smoking/smoking weed when I was 15-16. I stopped playing sports and continued to eat like shit. When you are young if you are active you can get by eating like shit. At that time when I stopped playing sports I was about 220 and I was in very good shape but by not staying active and eating bad stuff I triggered a long 18 year downswing in my health . By the time I graduated I was about 250 and then I just added about 9 lbs every year until this past year. When you are putting on 9-10 lbs a year it doesn't feel like much and you get used to it. And then one day you hit the scale and you say to yourself WTF. Trust me if you are starting to get out of shape then you should consider modifying your diet or at least walking a bit or you will have problems later.

I set a goal of -100 lbs loss and started training really hard about a year ago and the first 20-30 lbs came off quickly and then I got complacent. I would guess that's the way most diets end as well. people have some success then get complacent and it is back to life as it was before. 33% of the year I was slacking off or fell off my routine and I still managed to lose roughly 75 lbs by getting rededicated multiple times. At the beginning of the year I really had no clue what the fuck I was doing and now I know what I am doing (for the most part) and I know what it is going to take for me to clip another 50-60 and maintain muscle and put on muscle while getting there.

Last week I saw the scale dip below 300 for the first time probably since 1998-1999 and it felt good knowing I hit that #. But I think I was feeling a bit too good cause I celebrated with a cheat day then kept cheating in spots little by little all week and then between Christmas Eve and Christmas day I put back on another 5 lbs. Am I happy about this? No I am not but it is a little discouraging cause this sets me back a little bit. But it is certainly not the end of the road because this is only the beginning.

But I think some of the weight I put on this week was good weight. When I say good weight I mean muscle. This past week I actually started hitting every part of my upper body and after the 6 days I can see a HUUUGE difference especially in my biceps and shoulders. I already have a large frame to begin with and I can tell that if I keep working hard I am going to put on muscle and it will go on in fast and my muscles will grow very quick and I will be bulging like a hulk very soon.

Losing the 75 lbs was good and very rewarding especially when I started to need smaller clothes. But lifting weights and seeing results may be a more rewarding feeling. Sitting in the mirror brushing my teeth and seeing a muscle bulge in my arm in the spot where there was a glob of fat 6 months ago is a good feeling. It is only the beginning for my weight training and when it comes to lifting weights I LOVE to do it. I love going to the gym and hammering weights for 60-90 minutes. It all started when I was like 14 and I couldn't even bench press two 45 lb plates. Less than 2 months later I was doing double for 6 or 7 reps and I felt so good about that but once again I got very complacent and stopped lifting weights. I really fucking hate walking/jogging/incline on the treadmill but I still suck it up and do it 6 days a week because I know I need to. I know I am not getting any younger and the longer I stay above 250-260 the better chances there are of suffering injuries, health issues and sore muscles and bones. Fortunately for me I have pretty erased any type of health issues/risks such as high blood pressure, cholesterol etc as my blood work from this years physical showed rapid improvements in everything I needed to take care of. Now all I need to do is stay active and eat right and I will be in a good spot by WSOP in June and will be in great shape for the long term by the time 2012 comes around.

Basically here is what my routine is going to be for the near future

Monday- Chest - 3 types of movements with sets of 4 , 3 and 3 and then 45-60 minutes of cardio with incline up to 10.0 on treadmill

Tuesday Biceps and Triceps - 2 movements for Bis and 2 for Tris with sets of 4 and 3 for each movement and then 45-60 minutes of cardio with incline up to 10.0 on treadmill

Wednesday Back and Shoulders - 2 movements for back and 2 for shoulders with sets of 4 and 3 for each movement and then 45-60 minutes of cardio with incline up to 10.0 on treadmill

ThursdaySee Monday

Friday See Tuesday

Saturday See Wednesday

Sunday- I will focus on stretching and do a light 3 mile walk and give my body a chance to rest from the weights and if I am really sore I will just stretch and skip the walking

Stretching is key. I used to avoid stretching when I was a kid or I would do a quick stretch. Lately I have been experiencing shin splints so I started stretching hella more and the stretching has helped. I now stretch for 5 minutes in the shower before a workout and then I stretch for a solid 10 minutes before I get on the treadmill and stretch another 5 minutes after.

As far as reps go with weights I warm up with 15-18 then will move to like 12 then 10 then 7 or 8.

Starting this week if I have a lot of energy in the evening I will go for a 2 or 3 mile light walk. I have been trying to add this in lately but haven't gotten around to it.

As far as food gos this is what I have been doing

I wake up and swallow 2 oxielite pro (fat burner) then 1 more 6 hours later. Then I will have some egg beaters or egg whites with 3 pieces of wheat toast. Then I go to the gym about 45 minutes later

When I get home I have a protein shake (0 carbs)

For lunch I will have a piece of grilled chicken with brown rice

If I am hungry before dinner I will have some lettuce and tomato with fat free dressing

For Dinner I will have grilled chicken with some type of greens (steak 2 nights a week)

I have been getting a lot hungrier this week and it is probably due to the weightlifting routine so starting this week I am grilling off a shit load of chicken and if I am hungry at night I will just eat some chicken with a little BBQ sauce or ketchup. So that about sums up what I am going to be doing and will make changes if I see something isn't working or if 408mike sees something that is off on my routine.

Lastly these are some tips before you start any type of program

1. Quit smoking- I still smoke when I drink or when I am in vegas partying but this is the one thing that will help you a ton. You will smell better, breathe better and have better wind.

2. Try not to eat carbs during dinner or after.

3. Stop eating white bread and eat whole wheat or some type of multi grain but more importantly sunb brown rice or some type of complex carb for bread

4. Try and do your training first thing in the morning

5. Try to stop drinking alcohol. Or maybe cut back to 1 day a week if you can. If you must drink stick to light beers and rum

6. Lift before you run

7. Drink a TON of water. try to stay off of diet soda and def don't drink soda

8. Cut out as much sugar as possible

9. Don't use drive thrus

10. Instead of looking for close spots when you go out park as far away

11. Try to cut out fried foods, cheese, mayo and red meat

12. Grill /Bake/ Broil all of your meat and poultry and steam all of your vegetables

13. Write down your goals

14. Keep a blog of your success or failure.

15. Eat smaller portions and more meals. Try and stick to 4-6 meals but lower your portion size

16. Get proper sneakers for what you are doing whether it is running or walking and make sure they fit

17. Listen to your body when it aches or when you are hungry

18. Stretch A LOT!

I have 2 concerts coming up Monday and Tuesday and then Vegas the 6th through the 13th. I will do my best to stay on my plan from now until Vegas but when I get back it is balls to the wall until June when I hit Vegas again

http://www.venompoker.com/forumdisplay. ... lth-Center

Well it has been a great year but it is time to catapult in 2011. I can't complain with how things have been going as of late. After a disaster of a week to end November this has been great December. First week back from Vegas I snapped my book for like 8k or so and since then I haven't really bet much and that is a good thing. I just got into the mindset this year to stay as +ev as possible and not to bet just to bet or because a game is on T.V. That is where most bettors make mistakes and I used to be that guy. This year things have been different as I only played action point wagers where I felt I had a decent edge. In fact I nailed Pitt tonight for a quick $700 BANG!!! Speaking of football I am in 2 Superbowls this week in fantasy football. Ironically I made the Superbowl in each of these leagues last year and won them because I AM GOD. B2B 1 time?

Poker has been swell as well. On a nice 3k upswing over 2.5 weeks and I haven't run well at all. I still can't win a hand on FTP but I never have been able to win there so that hasn't changed. I honestly feel like I am playing against superusers or a keylogger. Only other thing happening on the poker front is I am 500 VPP away from a 1k Supernova bonus so the future is bright in Chinaland.

Other than that things have been good. I got all my shopping done for Christmas and I am looking forward to spending the weekend with my family. We got some snow up here as well so it will be a white Christmas. After Christmas weekend I have tickets to 2 Phish shows in Worcestor Mass on Monday and Tuesday and then I will be back on the grind for a week.

After that week of grinding I will be off to Vegas for the 6th through the 13th. Plan is to stay at my buddies house for the weekend and then most likely hit a strip casino for the week. And yes I will self ban this time. It should be a fun trip as the AVN's are that weekend as well as the Wild Card games and then Monday night is the National Championship. I also plan on heading to Bellagio at some point and defending my title as the best heads up player in the world vs the 10-20 limit bot.


That's about all I got for now. Everyone have a good Christmas and a safe New Year. And remember to set your fucking goals and try and get that shit accomplished. I have a lot of goals set for this year and I will try my ass off to get them done.

http://www.venompoker.com/forumdisplay. ... -Sanctuary

China

Well this week it was back to basics cause I just wasn't doing things " The China Way" last week. I was doing too many -ev things for my game. If you didn't read the last blog I was doing a lot of things that I believe affect my wins and losses in a big way. A lot of them seem very minor but when you add all of these things up they become distracting.

1. Listening to Music - Seems like this wouldn't matter but for some reason I believe music can affect the rhythm of your play and your decision making. Sometimes I believe I can be a little over aggressive when I am listening to music that can pump me up especially in heads up play. 6 max or ring you can half pay attention and it won't affect you as much but heads up everything is rhythm and detail.

2. TV on or Surfing Web or talking to people on aim. Again you can get by in other games but not heads up cause of all of the details you lose

3. Not quitting guys when they are short can trigger tilt when they come back or you just feel so crushed when they run it up to 50 bets

Well I did took care of all of these things accept one thing. I got an important email on Thursday night and while half reading the email and half paying attention to my match I got in a big hole against some clown. Then he nailed me with some sick beats and I started paying attention to the match and before you knew it I shot off like 1700 in an 8-16 game while slightly tilting my face off. 2 things I did wrong here was half paying attention to the match and getting stuck and when I got stuck I started playing bad I def should have quit. I usually will do a stop loss of anywhere from 30-50 bets but this time I was so tilted I just could not quit. This hasn't happened to me in quite some time either. Fortunately I was already ahead about 2300 for the week so I don't feel as shitty about it.

Other than that one match my week is going good. I have been doing good with my diet and have been crushing the gym and should lose another 2 or 3 lbs this week. Outside of poker their have been some minor distractions for me but things are clearing up in a big way and hopefully soon I will be in the sunset Other than that it is just grind grind grind till I get my supernova bonus. Hopefully the week finishes off in a very positive way !!

www.venompoker.com

Coming into this past week I was VERY VERY VERY motivated and was really into things for a few days. But then various things happened throughout the week and I got sidetracked and my head was a mess. Monday bad news, Tuesday good news, Wed bad news etc etc etc.... It has actually been this way for me for the better part of 2.5 months. Some days I can really focus and other days I can't. It has been like living in a Tornado sometimes and I will go into detail on some of this stuff at a later time.

When you have a lot of outside distractions it can def affect your poker play. After Tuesday I didn't keep a very good poker schedule which is very unlike me as I am usually pretty structured when it comes to hours of play. When I did play I feel like I played like shit. When your mind isn't in it you can pretty much just kiss your money goodbye. Like I am at the point right now where I really I don't like to lose but the money doesn't feel like it means anything to me whether I win or lose and it shouldn't be that way.

I feel I played well sometimes but when I started running bad my play slipped and I just wasn't into things at all. For instance my game selection slipped, I ignored my stop losses, I let guys come back when they only had 2 or 3 bb. It was just a mess of a fucking week and I am not going to let it happen again this week. I plan on making them all pay this week. Every last one of them will pay. Mark my words!!

I don't think I got killed for the week but I def kissed a lot of bets goodbye. I could have won or lost anywhere in the $500 range but I am not really sure. Only good thing that happened this week was grabbing 1k VPPS and now I only need like 3500 for a 1k Supernova Bonus which I plan on grinding out this week.

This week I am going back to basics. I am shutting down all outside distractions as best I can and I am really bearing down the hatch and hitting the grind hard. So bye bye internet while playing, cya later TV, c ya later music , and aim can GTFO. Games are dead as it is so outside distractions don't really help much.

Sports betting wasn't great this week as I dropped about 2k. I went 3-1 ATS but my big play got throttled. I probably lost about 4k due to sloppy play from some of these kids moronic play lol but no big deal. I have been running well and I understand that there will be rough stretches so when this happens you just have to take it in stride. I didn't bet any NFL this week and have yet to make a wager on NCAA or NBA. I have stepped been monitoring some stuff in the hoops dept though and I could possibly be hopping back in the game at some point. But for now I am waiting for all of the bowl lines to pop so I can really key in on 3 or 4 games and hopefully more.

So this week is just going to be the week to really regroup so I can be sharp in every phase of the game in life. One thing that has been going well is my diet and exercise and that is actually the #1 thing on my priority list so I am really not that pissed off about slacking with poker. I stuck with my diet and probably cut about another 4 lbs so that is great. As long as I am losing in the 2 to 4 lb range every week I am satisfied.

So basically what I am going to do tonight is write down EVERYTHING I need to do this week and bang it out. I just want to get every little thing off of my mind and I will feel better and everything will fall into place. Another thing I will probably start doing is blogging a few times a week so I don't type up this encyclopedia every week

www.venompoker.com